Silly Slip-Ups || Carter

Charley nodded. "I know. I haven't forgotten and I don't ever want to be in a hospital again - not after dad." She hated hospitals now. She'd never been particularly fond of them, but now she would do anything she could to avoid them. "I won't get to that point. This is just one off day, I need something to eat then I need to get some rest. I'll be fine." she assured him. "Now if you don't mind I'm done talking about this," she added firmly, turning her head to gaze out the window.

Charley heard what her brother said and did her best not to flinch against the words. She was supposed to be there for him and getting herself wrapped up in other problems wouldn’t help with that.

She glanced up at Carter as he spoke again. He’d order it. No accidentally leaving something off so she was left with less. She knew that if she had to lie she’d have to use new ones. He’d certainly recognise her old tactics if she used those. Rather than forcing herself into less she could use the opposite approach. If there would be left overs anyway she could probably get away with not eating everything she would if there was “just enough.” Plus with leftovers she could get rid of them in the future and her brother would assume she’d eaten.

As she pulled up the menu and wrote out what she wanted (steamed dumplings, chicken and broccoli, chow mien, and fried rice) she debated other ways to distract her brother. ”Do you want to watch a movie?” she asked, not looking up from her phone. ”Something light and silly. You know, like old times.”

Charley nodded. "I will," she muttered, then handed him the list she'd made. Then she slowly headed up to her room to put down her purse. Carter was right, she had to eat and she shouldn't feel bad about it. Today was a particularly low calorie day, it wasn't like she was over her budget or anything. She just hated being cornered about it.

Charlotte eyed her bed. It would be very easy to just go to sleep and just eat in the morning. But Carter wouldn't be happy with that and for the moment she wanted Carter to be content. So she let herself get her thoughts together and then left her room and headed to Carter's. "Hey, I'm sorry," she said. "I was selfish back then. I didn't consider how what I was doing would effect everyone else. And I know that this reminds you of that and you're freaking out. But I'm not that same person anymore."

"No, I mean..." Charley shook her head. "I didn't mean now with Marcel and America and... Well everything else that's happened in the past 3 years. And I guess I myself will never be different, I always find some problem to have, but the bulimia? I'm not going back there. Eating disorders are messy, I've been on both sides of them, I know all the statistics and I-I remember the pain." Her voice shook at that. She remembered the hospital and the treatments, but she also remembered the disorder itself, the cycle that had dragged her down but she was too addicted to to break. This was different, right? It had to be different because she would not be stupid enough to get stuck in that cycle again. "What I'm trying to say is I missed a few meals because I was busy but I'm not sick like I was then. You're making it a bigger problem than it is." She sighed before making one final compromise against her desires. "And if it would make you feel better I'll eat all my meals with you tomorrow too."

"I do understand, Carter," she replied, "I really do. Through everything it's been you and me and I can't imagine a world without that. I'm certainly not going to do anything to make the world that way."

She nodded at his compromise. "Alright." she agreed. She could do a week. It would be harder to make excuses for everyone else, but she could at the very least convince her brother she was being healthy for a week. "But, um... I love you, Carter, and I don't have a problem proving to you that I'm doing well because I know what it would mean if I wasn't, but I also need you to trust me, alright?"

Charley hated smudging the truth when it came to Carter. They'd both lied and kept things from each other in the past, but it didn't stop the guilt from eating at her even more than the hunger. She walked up to Carter and wrapped her arms around him. "Come on, let's go pick out a movie," she said with a smile. She desperately wanted to leave this subject behind.